Health, Sexuality


We love to talk about the importance of self-care and healthy living, unfortunately though, when it comes to sexual wellness and matters relating to sexuality, we tend to turn our heads and get a little nervous (even married people).

Our sexuality is deeply ingrained in our holistic personality, and an integral part of our overall health. We are as spiritual beings as we are sexual beings. In the beginning, He created them male and female; remember? And He gave them a mandate; be fruitful and multiply!

What were you thinking? That the author of sex didn’t understand that he created sex for humanity, for pleasure, for health, for reproduction and for relationship?

Yes! Sex is sacred and a gift from God, we only need to see it as such, embrace it and live responsibly in honour of the sacred.

WHO which I regard an authority in matters relating to health has something to say. According to WHO, Sexual health is a state of physical, emotional, mental and social well-being in relation to sexuality; it is not merely the absence of disease, dysfunction or infirmity. Sexual health requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and sexual relationships, as well as the possibility of having pleasurable and safe sexual experiences, free of coercion, discrimination and violence.

Also, WHO explained Sexuality as a central aspect of being human throughout life encompasses sex, gender identities and roles, sexual orientation, eroticism, pleasure, intimacy and reproduction. Sexuality is experienced and expressed in thoughts, fantasies, desires, beliefs, attitudes, values, behaviours, practices, roles and relationships.

But on the other hand, I’m also aware of various struggles and frustrations people face in their bedrooms. Some are left with the sexual frustrations with no one to talk to, others live in sexless relationships, others still struggle with sexual trauma, wounding, shame or toxic beliefs. All these things will affect our sexual experiences.

Sexual frustration is undoubtedly a serious problem that can destroy a family and a once blooming romance. There are many causes for this phenomenon. They can be physical, mental, emotional, and so on.

However, once you become sexually frustrated, it is really hard to think of engaging in any type of sexual activity. These are some of the signs you are experiencing sexual frustration;

  1. You easily get annoyed or distracted
  2. You have problems falling asleep
  3. You fantasize a lot about having sex without doing anything about it
  4. You don’t feel satisfied after sex
  5. You often feel not good enough to give or receive sexual pleasure.

I am particularly interested in Sexual Wellness because it beats me to pieces that marriages are falling apart due to problems relating to Sex and it is so unfortunate that we don’t talk about it and our pre-marital counselling sessions don’t help either.

Aaaargh! Some of us had no clue, felt scammed and unguided. I remember telling a friend; “this sex thing is just overrated, I should have been warned!”

There are amazing benefits attached to sexual wellness, some of these may spur you on your sexual wellness journey:

  1. Weight loss

Orgasms increase your levels of CCK (cholecystokinin) which causes the release of digestive enzymes and bile, and acts as a hunger suppressant.

  • Less stress & better mood

Oxytocin released during orgasm not only bonds you emotionally to your lover, it also combats the effects of cortisol in your body, lowering levels of stress and depression.

  • More sex appeal

Regular sexual activity increases and optimises levels of estrogen and testosterone in women, which adds to their libido, improves their mood and creates more sex appeal. Men who orgasm often also enjoy higher levels of testosterone, adding to their strength, masculinity and wellbeing.

  • Better sleep

Oxytocin and vasopressin (both released during orgasm) are involved in lowering the cortisol levels and controlling our circadian rhythm, helping us regulate the internal clock and sleep better.

  • Improved social life

Numerous side effects of the oxytocin boost include improving your social skills and intuition, making you feel more social and trusting, and bonding better with others.

  • Easier periods

Improved blood circulation to a woman’s pelvic area ensures higher levels of nutrients present, healthier tissues and supports a regular menstrual cycle.

  • Higher immunity

Orgasms boost infection-fighting cells which supports your body in fighting colds and flu.

  • Higher life expectancy

According to studies conducted in Wales over the period of 10 years, people who orgasm regularly live longer than those who don’t. In fact, the difference is a mortality risk lowered by 50% which is quite amazing.

Should you need to talk about your sexual health needs, you can join my whatsapp group where we can freely ask questions, be guided, be expressive and get counsel on matters relating to Sexual Health. It is an open group so we can freely learn and share.

Join whatsapp group via this link;

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